I just read Jeanne's posting on patience with Nadia, which got me thinking about the patience needed to deal with Aimee. I just saw Jeanne, Nadia, and Arianna in the Denver airport on my way back from New Orleans this Friday (more about New Orleans in another posting). The whole time I kept thinking how similar Aimee and Nadia seem to be. For example, they both think they are old enough to make their own decisions, yet sometimes those decisions turn out to be not so great. I won't pick on Nadia (since she is 1) not even two yet, and 2) not my daughter), but at the moment Aimee is sleeping in her bed instead of at school. (I am also not at school, but I am sick. I'm thinking that Nadia must have had some germs when she coughed all over my ice cream cone. Either that, or I gave my germs to her, for which I apologize to Jeanne for making her daughter sick.) Aimee is not sick, but she did not get a lot of sleep last night. This is because she spent the previous night at her friend's house and did not wake up until 1pm. Apparently, they were up all night watching Requiem for a Dream and other disturbing movies--movies that I would have made the decision not to watch. So naturally she was not tired last night, since she had only been up for 9 hours by the time she was supposed to go to bed. (Aimee and Nadia also apparently both don't like to go to bed on time.)
Aimee has been saying for some time now that she is almost 16, she can make her own decisions. Yet as I have alluded to, her decisions tend to only be the kind that benefit her. Why couldn't she decide to spontaneously clean her room? Or decide to get up on time? It has taken me a lot of patience to learn how to deal with her.
When I was little, my Sunday school teacher was teaching us about our guardian angels, and she encouraged all of us to give our guardian angel a name. Even as a little kid, I didn't think I had much patience, so I named my guardian angel "Patience," to make up for the fact that I didn't have any--or at least not enough. Now with Aimee, I have to actively think about not yelling at her all the time, since sometimes she drives me nuts! I have learned that being calm with her helps a lot more than yelling because even if she still won't do what I want her to do, then at least we aren't fighting. But not yelling takes a lot of work on my part, since I am prone to yell. The irrational part of me thinks that she will completely understand my point of view if I just say it loud enough. Ironically, this tends to be when she hears me the least.
Now I must go wake up the girl who can make all her own decisions, but for some reason cannot take the responsibility to get herself out of bed before 10am. Argh! --Patience--argh--BE CALM!!! Okay, now I am ready.
3 comments:
Nadia is still not sick, but she could still have given you the germs that made you sick. Kids are full of germs.
What I get from your posting is that I am going to need patience the entire time I raise my kids. I was hoping it was only during the terrible twos.
My mom would throw a glass of water on us to get us out of bed in the morning...maybe that will work with Aimee. She also used to reach under the covers at the foot of the bed and tickle our feet, but maybe you don't feel like touching Aimee's feet. I'd go with the water.
I like the water! Perhaps not the most patient response, but certainly affective. And sorry, Jeanne, but I think kids will always drive you nuts. Aimee at two was much easier than Aimee at almost-16. And my grandmother is now 88, and she is ready to throttle my uncle--and he just turned 64.
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